01/11/16 - Frustrated

Sometimes I feel like I don't get the amount of privacy that I, as a person, deserve. These past few days have been a bit tiring for me. I know my patience has been cut thin by the lack of sleep, but I'm also increasingly growing tired of the number of tasks I'm given in one day. The same excuses are spoken to me daily; you'd think I'd know by now. But simultaneously, I don't feel right getting angry at them. I know it's not my mother's fault that she has to work extra hours and still sacrifice her evening making meals and doing chores. I know it's not my father's fault that he's working hard to support the family. But at this rate, I don't think I can see home as, well, "home."

Don't get me wrong, I love being here. I love hanging out with friends, exploring LA, and eating good food, but at time, I feel a bit overwhelmed with how much my family relies on me. I do my best to help with the cleaning and cooking, running errands, and shopping for groceries; but the pent up stress and emotions get to me. 

Ahem. Anyway, today was one of those days.

I woke up, immediately brushed up and headed out to meet up with Samantha to grab some lunch at In-N-Out. She still remembered the promise she made me to treat me. Man, 5 months. It's been 5 months since I've finally been reunited with the famous Double-Double (with grilled onions and chopped chilies) sold only at this fast food chain. We spent a bit of time to ketchup (...HEH) before I dropped her off. I sat in the car to make a few phone calls, all of which were unsuccessful.

Seeing as my gas was running low, I made a stop at the nearby gas station, filled the tank, and began driving towards Long Beach (to meet up with Erika)! All was good for the next 40 minutes, but as I arrived at Seal Beach, I received a phone call from my mom. I had a bad feeling that something had come up, but refused to believe it. 

I picked up... It turns out, my mom fell victim to a minor hit-and-run (literally 5 MPH) in a parking lot and she asked me to return home to help her file a report to the cops. I didn't argue with her, but now I had to call Erika to let her know that I wouldn't be able to make it anymore. In my opinion, the excuse I gave almost sounded unbelievable, but I explained the situation to her and she understood. I began driving back home and met my mother and brother at the police station. We walked in and I (and my mom) explained the situation:

"My mother got into a car accident in the parking lot of the Chase bank on X street. As she was backing out, a lady in the car behind her jumped onto her car and immediately began backing out. She collided with my mom's car. And when my mom asked the lady for her information, she refused to hand it over, claimed that it wasn't her fault and that she was too busy, then left."

The clerk explained how all the deputies were out at the moment, and it would be faster if we returned to the site of the accident and requested a dispatch. So that's what we did. We drove back to the bank and called for a deputy. It took the cop 40 minutes to arrive and upon arrival, she only questioned the two witnesses, my mom and brother. I had absolutely no say in this matter as I was not present at the time. So why was I here. I guess what really bothered me was why my brother didn't offer to help. Regardless, it was a serious matter, and it was better to be safe than sorry.

After all the questioning, we returned home and immediately my mom would hand over all the household chores over to me. "I'm always doing all the household chores, no one ever helps me." I guess that's true to a certain extent, since no one really helps her when I'm away. But I hate hearing that when I'm home; simply because, I already pour in my efforts to reduce her work by juggling these household chores with my personal life (studying, friends, traveling), so when she says that, it just... irks me. I know she appreciates what I do, but at the same time, it sounds like she doesn't. THAT's why I don't like hearing it. Anyway, I do as I'm told. Then I get another phone call from the orthodontist regarding the upcoming orthognathic surgery. 

Samantha arrives shortly after and we go to a nearby grocery store to do a little shopping. I had asked to join her to help calm myself. It helped to a certain extent. I got back home at around 6:40 in the evening, made myself some coffee, and helped Erika with some Chemistry. It's been a while since I've even touched chemistry, but I think I was able to help a bit. The rest of the night I just heard endless chatter. Here is where I mean by "lack of privacy." I almost never get to be alone at home, unless I forcibly shoo someone out of my room and close my doors. At times, the endless chatter is fine, but there are times when I just NEED that isolation. 

Enough of my ranting. Here's to hoping my dreams tonight aren't of the nightmarish kinds or tomorrow's gonna suck too. 

-Jeffjeff

&& Welcome Erika!